How The Lobster Got Me A Girlfriend

The film “The Lobster” was recommended to me by an online friend several years ago. I enjoyed their first recommendation “Harold and Maude” and thought I would give it a shot. After watching it I immediately felt somewhat traumatized.

“The Lobster” is a dark comedy about a near-future dystopian world where being single is illegal. Single people are sent to hotels to fall in love and if after a month or so they do not they are turned into an animal of their choice. (Trust me the animal part is the least weird thing about this movie.)

“The Lobster” is the best horror film I’ve seen in my life. The casting, cinematography, acting, directing and screenplay were all outstanding. It gets under your skin and doesn’t resort to jump scares. It is one of those rare films that actually “Haunts” you.

I had been single for several years when I watched “The Lobster” and the themes really hit a nerve for me. The way that being single is viewed as a crime. The way the world feels like one is constantly forced into relationships even if they aren’t a good match.

I realized from watching “The Lobster” that relationships are a much more serious activity than I had been thinking. In my messages to women on dating sites I was merely trying to sound impressive and compliment them. I wasn’t thinking how vital it is to meet someone compatible. How a relationship is a life altering experience.

My messages changed in tone and substance dramatically after watching “The Lobster”. In opening messages I asked bold deep questions like “Why are you on Dating Sites?” “What sort of love are you looking for: Lust, Friendship, Commitment?” and “What are you hoping to find?” I was more interested in finding a compatible match on these fundamental questions.

Immediately things changed. Women responded more favorably. I got better and more promising leads. I had a fun 3 months with a woman who was into 3D modeling and Games. We eventually realized we weren’t compatible but it was an amicable break up. I kept looking and less than 3 months later I met my current girlfriend. Using those same opening questions we realized we were really compatible right away.

So now I’m in the best relationship I’ve ever had and it’s because I was haunted by “The Lobster”. That’s the power of great storytelling. I aim to do that in my stories. I want to heal and help grow.

There was a line my philosophy professor was fond of saying that was essentially “Any philosophy that does not ease the suffering of men is useless.” And I really believe that any work of art that does not in some way refresh how we think is really a huge waste of time.

Thanks for reading.


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